Memories
2025
my bedroom is still flooded with the smell of your sweet perfume
Burberry goddess everything is better when i sit next to you
pillowcase inundates my whole brain with memories
if i were to say i miss you it’s an understatement
safe to say that i think i think about you too much for my own good
crazy to say i stare at your name inside my phone book
my fault, love, for being a daydreamer
Darling forgive me, I'm an over-thinker
Our dialogue plays in my mind like a stop motion picture
Might be closer to a Pollock painting
the madness is fascinating
there's always beauty waiting
just gotta step back, focus, appreciate it
we just need be patient
everything in its divine time
gotta let it mature like some fine wine
my heart's wide open, i'm wondering how to give you the ocean
​
STILL WRITING THIS ONE
WORK IN PROGRESS
Nine Eight
February 1st 2025
it’s crazy how i can feel your heartbeat from 879 miles away
it’s crazy how the universe placed you at arm’s length
and just out of my sight
until the clock stuck midnight
this fairytale i’ve read about a thousand times
i’ve even got the ending memorized
yet i’m scared to become the main character
i am unsure of what the next chapter will bring
because the different tragedies i’ve lived
but still i find peace in your voice
your soft whisper speaks to my soul
come, come to me love
gently you guide me through
this forest where i planted my seeds of doubt
lead me to the ocean where i jump in after you
the cold water feels like a Sunday afternoon
as i start to sink you reach out and grab my hand
stop me from drowning, show me how to walk on water
we make our way through the waves to the promised land
our very own sunflower paradise, peace
like i can’t describe, we burn bright
you are the full moon in the vast black sky
how do you do it?
you are the muse in my music
your therapeutic influence
helped me clear all the confusion
i am not lost anymore
i’ve lost count of the times i’ve reread your letters
poems where you poured the pieces of your heart out
i’ll spend the rest of my life putting the puzzle back together
is it too early to talk about forever?
i don’t think so, here grab my hand
let’s explore see if this rabbit hole leads us to wonderland
i love you more than even i think i can understand
My Soul Yearns
January 31st 2025
The silence between us is so loud
I can't hear myself think
All I hear is the echoes of the past we shared
The memories replaying in my head
Persistent like a used car salesman
The wounds won't close
because of the depth of your words on my heart
It still bleeds love for you...
After all of this calamity, it still longs for you
My soul yearns for yours to sit beside it
My skin yearns for your warm, soft touch
Through this all I would still love you
Unconditionally
and come to your voice at the drop of a hat
All you have to do is ask
My love
​
Action
January 21st 2025
I hate when my brain wakes up before I do
Like why at 4am do you want to replay my whole life like a movie
I just want to get some rest, but there are some scenes that need to be analyzed
lines that need to be rewritten for the story to make sense
maybe then I'll be able to get more than 1.75hrs of sleep
maybe... just maybe the final product will need to be delayed for some reshoots
trying to find the plot holes that gave the test audience an issue
until then the script will be a work in progress
just waiting for the director to yell ACTION and the story can continue
Run.
August 5th 2024
oh, why do you evade me?
moments fleeting
fading in an out of existence
could i have been so evil in my past life
to not experience even a glance
let alone a smirk or warmth of your smile
it’s all i ever wanted, yet it terrifies me
i wonder what you really hide behind those eyes
do you intend to be pure? or just here for the party?
the scars from last time still burn when i walk
was it really you who cut so deep?
or just someone i thought could fill your role
doppelgänger did damage
cast a shadow that blocks even the brightest star
one that follows me around every room
blocking out things that don’t fit it’s narrative
making me question my own judgement
the silence it leaves me in is deadly loud
a cacophony of sound
orchestra of noise, i can’t find your voice
i just wanna run
run until my feet swell up
run until my knee seizes
let me lay down on the pavement
find solace where the lane splits
shit, i hear footsteps
oh there you are,
holding out your hand help me up
i just had to be patient enough to know
you’d find me again in this lifetime
Untitled #37
February 28th 2024
When do i stop watering this tree in hopes it would bear fruit
are the hopes that i may eat from its branches strong enough to keep me going
because quite frankly my well is running dry
i wonder if the tree is rooted to an different stream
but when i leave for a day the branches start to die
Butterfly
January 2021
You are a beautiful being
look into your eyes as you spread your wings
and fly away into outer space
it was my mistake, thinking you could stay
but what can I say? it's best this way
as I sit and meditate
to not get lost in the cacophony of the jungle, that is my mental
where you seem to fly around and never settle
where I might have built you a temple
where the stairs up are littered with rose and sunflower petals
it'll be a while before I find the words to fit the words to fit your instrumental
when you let go of something you love it's supposed to help yourself grow...
Uprooted
December 3rd 2020
Oh what I would do to eat the fruit from that tree again
Feel the cool embrace of the shade when the sun fried my skin
Listen as the wind blew through the branches and told me the world's secrets
Sit on the strong roots that it had attached to the Earth
Observe as the critters sang from their nests in a chaotic harmony
The quiet roar of their mixed voices created a euphony
that brought me peace, even when the hurricane hit
But all that changed in an instant
The silent explosion of horror rang in my ears
Like the first sound of thunder in a hailstorm
I saw you had built a house on the very spot where the tree once stood
Our tree once stood...
A house in which I could not live
And would just have to watch as you planted a forest with someone else...
Right beside where my tree once stood
Yours Truly
September 20th 2020
I am not very good at this game
I don't know what the pieces do
Don't understand how to make a move
It's driving me a little bit insane
​
Yet you perfectly understand the cadence
You did set the board after all
And invited me over to participate
Eagerly awaiting my response
​
I don't really like this game now that I know the patterns
And realize I was set up to lose from the start
Yet, I still played along with hopes that it would be different this time
My naivety got the better of me
You stood up and walked away when you got bored
That was a flash decision, gave me some whiplash
I thought that we should finish this
I want to know who the winner is
​
We should have written a play instead
At least then I'd know what my role is
And I'd be able to do what I do best
Act like I don't give a shit
​
Pretend like nothing phases me
Even though it's just me being stoic
Knowing I'm dying inside
Feels like I've been buried alive
​
This is my brain being poetic
Because your touch is where my medicine is
It's the penicillin that I ain't have in a minute
Which turned to hours, days, weeks, months
​
Speaking of turns, isn't it your move to make now?
Sorry, I got distracted and hella spaced out
Is it just the Wires in the Way now?
The reason that I'm Still Blue?
​
I don't really know but
I've just been dealing with a whole lot of bullshit on my end
It just seems to be all for life's amusement
I need your help sorting through the confusion
​
Just some patience, understanding while I'm on the edge of losing
Need a second of peace, but the world won't stop moving
Like the hands on this clock that I can't rewind
Maybe all we need right now is time
Sunflower (Paradise)
July 11th 2020
The sun painted the sky a soft peach color
How it set on your skin made me forget for a sec that time exists
Or rather, remember how much time you spend in it
you make my heart beat in rhythms i didn’t know were possible
you don’t understand your power
Grace and beauty like a wild sunflower
You see, truly, I could explore that field for hours
As I snap back to the moment, our eyes lock and we light up
Your smile, you can’t contain it, like being told your first secret as a child
never underestimate the universe because it let you just waltz into my life
And allowed you to win me over in 3 nights and 4 days
that’s me exaggerating but you broke me down quickly
Now in this world nothing will ever be the same
Did we just stumble into paradise?
See the blessings, count them twice
Let me hold you close, while we stare at the horizon
Step away from the shore, there could be a riptide
Ask me anything, i am an open book for you to explore
Analyze every chapter, until the one where life introduced you
Because how the rest goes is a mystery or rather
We can choose our own adventure and not fold under the pressure
i’ll finish this novel despite all of its imperfections
all of the plot holes and contradictions
could never measure to our connection
but hold on,
we don’t have to rush though
take everything super slow,
cuz we like watching the flowers grow
the storms may come but the raindrops fall off the petals
we can listen to them while they hit the ground
see how they nourish our garden and new roses color the background
there’s never a dull moment when you’re around
you add the rainbow to these skies that have been so monotone
i would know, yeah, i would know
because i’ve been staring at this blank canvas for too long
hoping to be inspired by the passing clouds
watching how the grey gradates to light blue and pastel yellow and pink
then i sit back and think
reminiscing on how you drank that cherry wine
but i preferred your orange liqueur
damn, i am addicted and would probably drown in it given the opportunity
right now it’s just you and me taking on whatever obstacles the world throws at us
step by step we march forth even if we get lost like the hebrews in the desert
we don’t have to know where we are going,
only sure that we are walking the same way
with you by my side ain’t a thing that’s gon make me break
so why don’t you stay a little while?
we can truly explore this paradise together
see how far past the horizon it really goes